i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
You pole danced in your parka.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
