when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
