The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
