do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
i dont even know how to be here
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
