5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
