his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
