it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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