im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
