There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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