just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
