We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Send help, water and tortillas.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
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