I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
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