I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
