im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
