now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
i've created a new STD.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
