its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
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