JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
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