I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
