You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
