guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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