can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
