You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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