she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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