i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
