i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
