i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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