Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
