i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
