he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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