She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
