what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
