you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
