hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Randomize
