i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
