so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I have surprise drugs for everyone
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
