Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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