my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
