yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Randomize
