I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
