So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
