he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
