I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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