Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
