At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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