fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
