I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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