Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
