it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
