the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
