Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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