I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
